She's Nifty- She's Turning Fifty!
In just a few short days, the fabulous forties are coming to an end for me.
Time to reflect- I have loved, I have lost. I have grown, and I have matured, all while having fun at the same time. I have achieved a few things and are still working on others.
My forties started off rough- drama that I never asked to be a part of. My forties are ending in peace and quiet. The middle, the good stuffing, was filled with many laughs, good times and great people.
I found my tribe. I found my people half way through, through a really awesome concept of an "adult Girl Guides" of sort. At Camp Hoo Ha, it does not matter what you do after our get togethers or who you are/ are not outside of the space. We are all campers. We wear our comfy t-shirts, sweatshirts and joggers as we enjoy a great meal, fabulous wine, fun craft, a lesson or experience: as we earn our badges. From self-defence, glam camp, high tea, sailing on the Glenmore, reading good books, learning how to survive the Christmas dramas to winter camp and Jamboree in the spring. I have met and come to love different women, whom I would not have met otherwise, and call those dear friends. Friends that just love you and accept you- build you up when you need it and remind you how awesome you are- from different walks in life, backgrounds and life experience. Forever grateful for this experience, as we come to grips of the wind down and closing of this group. Just because this group is closing and will not be having any more "camps" or get togethers- I know my friends will be there when I need them, and afterwards too.
Friendships in mid life are hard. They are work. Everyone is busy with work, family, volunteering, and keeping up with the changes that are handed to us. It's the text from my very busy oil and gas girlfriend of - "hey, you up for a walk?" to making sure that my Nurse Practioner girlfriend and I laugh as much as possible to just deal with the stress. It's the last minute invite to a play when tickets are given free and knowing just who to invite. It's sharing meals while volunteering together and just talking. It's being there to listen and just give hugs when words fail. It's accepting that I am kooky and weird- but my posse knows that and loves me anyways. Late night phone calls and early morning text messages to show love and concern. Priorities shift, people leave your life. Thank them for the time together and move ahead. There are the short timer friends, the good times only friends, the long haul friends and all the in-between. Grateful to learn about this and share life with many different faces.
Finding lasting romantic love may come or may never come for some. It never hurts to be open. I took a chance, put myself out there and found the one that I will love forever. I know that he is a gift from God, my lovesong from my higher power. This man has lifted me higher, encouraged me in my lowest, loved me when I was hard to love and continues to help me grow. Sure, I pull him along to some things- but others, he jumps into it all in. Going out to volunteer at a children's summer camp in a work day to get the camp ready for the season- painting, cleaning, organizing to him now being one of the main cooks for a week. He supports me out there too- not just by creating this beautiful food for the campers and staff, but filling my cup with hugs and his words of encouragement. This filling of my cup then allows me to be able to continue on as the camp medic- being on call 24 hrs x 7 days can make this gal tired physically and emotionally. He is the same in every day life as well- making sure I can give all to my patients, physician boss and all involved. He is a great listener, offers advice when requested or gives the best back rubs after a hard day. He gets me- understands, loves, supports and encourages. He is the first to celebrate a victory, and the first in line to pick me up after a loss/disappointment. He shares my non-work stress load. He helps to fight for me when I go dark and black. He is my hiking partner who will wait while I wheeze up the hill, and is my camping buddy. His support lifts me higher, makes me feel lighter and all while he creates a home space for Buddy the Cat and I. I cannot imagine my life going forward without him.
I now have had the same job for just about 12 and a half years, not always at the same office location, always with the same physician. Going through a season of the unknown with her has brought us closer and open realizations for both of us. I have come to enjoy her as a friend and as a boss. Starting a new clinic can be scary, and I hope my support of her only spurs her on the greatness that I see in her. She is an amazing cardiologist- highly trained, compassionate, intelligent- this woman is so smart and competent, I am in awe- and cares. I love my patients, as I now have been serving some of these lovelies for 12.5 years, learning about their lives and families have been a privilege. I only hope they feel how special they are when they come in for their visits.
In my next decade I want to make it count. I want to look back and say, what a ride! I want to give back and make a difference in the world. I want to empower women to feel their 100% true self. I want to heal the hurting, lift them up. I see myself rising like a phoenix- with women rising around me. I want to laugh more that I cry. Travel more. Spend quality time with my partner in life, creating more memories, experiencing more joy and supporting each other as we age gracefully together. Enjoy the spoils of life- good food (wine, cocktails, spirits and tasty coffee and tea drinks), good friends, good music and good times.
Looking out through the window into a dreary, rainy day- reminds me that clouds will come and that just makes the sun shine brighter. May my fifties be the sunshine- bright, energizing, uplifting.
Fabulous Forties turn into Nifty at Fifty!
