It's been quite the week for me. I found out on Monday afternoon, that my role at my work was no longer. I was being reassigned to the night crew. This was all expected but also not expected. I did expect that my role was to be terminated: no need to do my work when the role that I was supporting was also terminated. I expected to be given a role still within my team~ not being sent back to nights.
In the past, being sent to nights was the "kiss of death" and even as I told some of my coworkers that this was happening to me, they brought that up. I am determined that it will not happen to me!
I have had a few days to get into my head and heart. I still have a job. I can still support my family. There will be changes as budgeting changes. I will be able to give myself, for the majority of my shift, to my clients- those people who need me. I will be able to support my coworkers by being the loving and caring person that I am.
These conclusions did not come easy.
Why was that?
I got negative. I hated what working nights did to my health earlier in my work... I got depressed and riddled with anxiety due to lack of sleep, lack of sunshine, lack of support. I hated being depressed: it affected my job satisfaction, my work ethic, my ability to fulfill my role properly, my judgement. I now know who I can go to for extra support: I have a church family that loves me so much that they will carry me on. I disliked having no social life... just as I was joining clubs, attending care group, and starting to write again. I may not be able to attend all meetings, however, people will understand that I am a shift worker, and make allowances for such!
Why negative? I listened to my head not my heart. I remembered all the horrible things that I did not like, and forgot all about what I did love of the night shift. I went to that dark spot that we all have, that we harbour negative feelings, thoughts and experiences. I went so deep that I wasted all of my days off fighting it off instead of taking care of myself.
Lesson learned this weekend: There is always two positives for every negative. Change is a good thing~ it should be embraced and welcomed.
Here is to the third shift! Look out, I'm going to rock it!