Change is in the air

It's been quite the week for me.  I found out on Monday afternoon, that my role at my work was no longer.  I was being reassigned to the night crew.  This was all expected but also not expected.  I did expect that my role was to be terminated: no need to do my work when the role that I was supporting was also terminated.  I expected to be given a role still within my team~ not being sent back to nights.

In the past, being sent to nights was the "kiss of death" and even as I told some of my coworkers that this was happening to me, they brought that up.  I am determined that it will not happen to me!

I have had a few days to get into my head and heart.  I still have a job.  I can still support my family.  There will be changes as budgeting changes.  I will be able to give myself,  for the majority of my shift, to my clients- those people who need me.  I will be able to support my coworkers by being the loving and caring person that I am.

These conclusions did not come easy. 

Why was that?

I got negative.  I hated what working nights did to my health earlier in my work... I got  depressed and riddled with anxiety due to lack of sleep, lack of sunshine, lack of  support.  I hated being depressed: it affected my job satisfaction, my work ethic, my ability to fulfill my role properly, my judgement.  I now know who I can go to for extra support: I have a church family that loves me so much  that they will carry me on.  I disliked having no social life... just as I was joining clubs, attending care group, and starting to write again.  I may not be able to attend all meetings, however, people will understand that I am a shift worker, and make allowances for such!

Why negative? I listened to my head not my heart.  I remembered all the horrible things that I did not like, and forgot all about what I did love of the night shift.  I went to that dark spot that we all have, that we harbour negative feelings, thoughts and experiences.  I went so deep that I wasted all of my days off fighting it off instead of taking care of myself. 

Lesson learned this weekend:  There is always two positives for every negative.  Change is a good thing~ it should be embraced and welcomed. 

Here is to the third shift!  Look out, I'm going to rock it!