Wednesday, May 16, 2012

FRIAMILY.... The Family That You Choose

FRIAMILY: Friends that turn out to be closer to you than your family.

I am reflecting on this as part of my first Link Up Party at Women Living Well at

I live 3,048 kms from where I was born.  My parents still live there,  and my sister and brother in law are only 2 hrs away from there.  I can't just go home for the weekend like most of my friends can.! I have to take a 4 hr flight, a 2 hr car ride to get there!  I have been this far from my family for the past 15 yrs.  That's a lot of Christmas's, Easters, Birthdays, Thankgivings that I haven't been there for!  I do have some family out here: my grandfather is the eldest of 15 kids!  However, it's not my immediate family.  I do have my in laws: J's wonderful parents, grandmother and brother- who have adopted me 8 yrs ago!

I have made my own family out here.  I have close friends that are more like a brother, a sister,  or "Pops".  These peeps are my friamily: the family that I choose.  Beyond best friends, these are the people that I go to for advice, to cry on, to call on, and for support.  They come to me for the same thing.  I remember introducing my father to my "pops", and seeing that they are only 3 years apart and a lot alike, they hit it off. (yay!) 

I am also blessed with a great family at work.  I know that I have been writing about the changes at work for me, however, I still have that work family.  Just last night as I was trying to settle in, my former teammate called up to me to check in with me.  That was an amazing start of my shift!  I have been on this shift before, and still have those closer relationships.  When you are in a caring and supporting role, you must be able to do so for each other.  It's how our emotional tanks stay filled.

The amazing friends that I have made at my home church have become my "church family."  Through taking part in Bible Studies, Care Groups,  and a Apologetics Course` I have met many different women, and couples.  These are the people who love me, accept me, and support me--- just because of who I am.  They have opened their arms to my J as well.  Their support, care, concern, loving correction have helped me grow, serve and fill my emotional tap.  These are the women that I know look to me for the same.  I have always hated being the new lady in church... breaking in, making it my own, yet, the people that I have come to love, have done that for and with me.  From opening their homes, serving on a team, having breakfast together, praying and sharing together- we have become family.

The best part of Friamily?  We can't choose the family that we were born into, because we get to choose who our friends are.

How do we make our Friamily?  Be there for the person.  Be that mentor that the younger you is looking for.  Support and give feedback when necessary for growth.  Pray together.  Listen.   Treat them like your brother, sister, pops or ma... or even better that then ones that were given to you.  I love to her "hey Sis" from a few of my friamily members, as to "dear", "buddy".  Terms of endearment always bring a smile.  I believe that if coffee and cheesecake cannot cure what ails you, then  you haven't tried the right on- sharing a meal, a snack, a dessert with someone is a bonding moment.  No agenda other than to just bond, love, support each other.

Love the ones that you were given.... Love the ones that have chosen you!

1 comment:

  1. Powerful, beautiful and so very true. The "friamily" I have found here in the blogsphere rivals the closest of blood kin. I loved the way you concluded this, a very timely reminder. Some folks are there for us, and some are there for us to love in return!